What You Need to Know about Mediation

Mediation is not therapy.

Although a person with counseling credentials (a social worker, psychologist or other professional) may also work as a mediator, mediation does not substitute for therapy. The goal of mediation is to help parties focus on a mutual problem, talk about it, discuss possible solutions, and if they choose, agree upon a solution. an agreement on how to solve a mutual problem. People who resolve problems through mediation often report that they feel better after having solved it themselves without someone else making the decision. Therapy may help you gain some emotional distance and be better able to handle the conflict but it is a different process. You may decide to seek therapy before, during or after mediation. The role of a counselor, like that of a therapist, is very different than that of a mediator.

Mediation is not practicing law.

Some mediators are also attorneys. However when an attorney acts as a mediator s/he cannot provide individual legal advice or representation to one of the parties to the mediation. An attorney represents you. A mediator is a neutral third party.

If an agreement comes out of your mediation and you wish to have it entered as part of a court order in an ongoing case or if you wish to have it enforced by a court, you should consider hiring an independent attorney to review the agreement on your behalf.

Mediation is confidential.

Mediation is a private matter. Everything that is said in mediation is confidential. Court is a formal system in which most of what is filed or said in court is part of the public record. Unlike court cases, the process and issues in mediation are between the parties and the mediator. A mediator is bound not to reveal what the parties have said in mediation except in a few limited situations. The exceptions are:

  1. Where there is an existing law that required the mediator to report certain information, such as child abuse or elder abuse;
  2. Where the mediator believes it necessary to reveal information to prevent serious bodily injury, or death;
  3. Where the mediator’s conduct is at question.

Read the Regulation:

Mediation is informal.

Unlike court, the atmosphere is informal. The parties and the mediator often meet around a table. There is no additional person recording the session or outsiders witnessing the discussion. Parties can wear whatever feels comfortable. There are no formal court rules. General rules are established at the beginning of a mediation session.

Mediation is relatively quick.

In many cases, the parties are able to reach an agreement more quickly than if the matter was decided by the court. Unlike a crowded court calendar, the only calendar you need to consider is a convenient time for the other party(ies) and the mediator. In addition, the various court processes, such as the filing of complaints, and motions or discovery (formal fact finding by each side), are not a part of the mediation process. You and the other parties define the issues and the terms of the agreement.

Mediation is cost effective.

Some services are free. Others are on a sliding scale. In other instances, the parties split the cost of a mediator. Since cost is largely a function of time, the quicker pace of mediation often means that the cost is less than if the case went to court.

Marc P. Feldman’s Divorce Mediation Center of New Jersey serves clients in Parsippany, Morristown, Morris Township, Morris Plains, Dover, Rockaway, Roxbury, ,Madison, Florham Park, Chester, Boonton, Chatham, Denville, Hanover, Florham Park, Kinnelon, Mendham, Mount Olive and all of Bergen County, Essex County, Hudson County, Middlesex County, Morris County, Passaic County, Somerset County, and Union County, New Jersey.

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