Mediation may be a good choice for family matters:
- ♦ Before you separate;
- ♦ Before, during, and after the divorce process;
- ♦ When you want to end a significant relationship with someone and you are not married;
- ♦ When ending a relationship with someone with whom you have children or own property that needs to be divided;
- ♦ After the divorce decree is final and problems arise;
- ♦ If you need to make decisions about how to share time with children;
- ♦ When you need to discuss child support;
- ♦ When you need to decide about parenting responsibilities such as: child rearing styles; disciplinary decisions; access to medical and school records; scheduling time with the children; clothes and extracurricular activities; Working out grandparent visits; telephone calls; transportation and costs; and Blended family issues.
- ♦ When you are discussing spousal maintenance;
- ♦ When you have property to divide (your home and what’s in it, cars, boats, etc.);
- ♦ When you have credit card debt to divide; and
- ♦ When you have checking and savings accounts, pension plans, mutual funds, money market funds, stocks, bonds, other investments and financial assets to divide.
When is family mediation not a good choice for me?
Mediation may not be a good choice for you if:
- ♦ You or your children have been verbally, physically, emotionally or sexually abused by the other person
- ♦ You do not feel safe, for any reason, in mediation sessions
- ♦ You are afraid of the other person
- ♦ The other person is intentionally trying to cause you emotional pain
- ♦ You or the other person are too depressed to make good decisions
- ♦ You don’t trust the other person to be fair or honest
- ♦ You don’t trust yourself to be fair or honest
- ♦ You or your therapist believe you are not mentally or emotionally able to mediate
- ♦ You or the other person abuse drugs or alcohol
- ♦ You feel the mediator is not treating you or the other person fairly
- ♦ You have a lot of trouble making decisions for yourself
- ♦ The other person is trying to keep the conflict going to maintain a connection
- ♦ The other person is acting like a martyr
- ♦ For whatever reason the other person does not want to end the conflict
- ♦ If you believe that you and the other person have different levels of power
It is important to note that the court cannot order you to mediate if you are in an abusive situation!
If in an abusive situation, before you consider mediation, thoroughly talk with someone you trust about the risks and benefits of mediating, like a domestic abuse counselor, Women’s or men’s advocate, therapist or counselor, lawyer experienced in family matters and domestic abuse, religious or spiritual counselor, or domestic abuse advocate
Marc P. Feldman’s Divorce Mediation Center of New Jersey serves clients in Parsippany, Morristown, Morris Township, Morris Plains, Dover, Rockaway, Roxbury, ,Madison, Florham Park, Chester, Boonton, Chatham, Denville, Hanover, Florham Park, Kinnelon, Mendham, Mount Olive and all of Bergen County, Essex County, Hudson County, Middlesex County, Morris County, Passaic County, Somerset County, and Union County, New Jersey.